Issue #15 - Zechariah’s Silence & Hidden Battles

Messy Story of the Week

He had been hooked long before he ever met his wife. He told himself the same lie many young Christian men believe:

“Once I’m married, this will go away.”
“Regular intimacy will cure this.”
“A good wife will help me stop.”

Marriage didn’t fix it. In fact, the secrecy followed him right into the covenant he truly wanted to honor.

He loved his wife deeply — that part was real. But so was the pull of the old habit he’d never fully faced.

Years of hidden patterns had shaped his brain, his expectations, and his fears.
He prayed harder.
Made promises to himself.
Deleted apps, reinstalled them, deleted them again.

He hated the double life. He hated how shame hollowed him out. And he hated himself for believing marriage would magically break chains he’d never brought into the light.

Meanwhile, his wife sensed something was off. He was physically present but emotionally distant. Their intimacy was strained. His ED frightened him, but the possibility of explaining it terrified him more.

He lived with a constant ache: “If she finds out, this could destroy everything.”

So he stayed silent, hoping time or willpower would fix what only honesty and real help ever can.

Faithful God Then and Now

Zechariah stood in the temple — a righteous man carrying an old disappointment. When the angel gave him good news, he couldn’t receive it.

Silence fell on him, not as punishment, but as protection.

A pause.
A reset.
A mercy.

Sometimes silence becomes the place where God rewrites a story that feels too tangled to redeem.

Just like Zechariah, men trapped in pornography often feel unheard, unseen, and ashamed. But God is not shocked by what they hide. He meets them in the shadows with mercy that restores dignity and hope.

Part of Chris’s story — and the story he shared on the episode — is that freedom begins when the silence breaks under the weight of grace, not condemnation.

What We Can Learn

• Addiction thrives in secrecy. Silence can suffocate or it can save — the difference is what we do in the pause.

• Shame convinces people they are alone. But pornography struggles are far more common in the Church than most realize.

• God does His best work in honest places. Zechariah’s silence shows us that God uses pauses to prepare hearts for redemption.

• Freedom is possible. It requires honesty, accountability, and discipleship — not self-reliance.

• Marriages recover when truth enters gently. Healing rarely happens through exposure; it happens through confession and compassion paired with real help.

Behind the Curtain

In coaching, I see so many husbands who carry private struggles they believe disqualify them from love. They interpret their spouse’s actions through the lens of “I will fail them again,” and the weight of that thought shapes their emotions and choices.

I also see a deep fear of destroying the marriage if the truth comes out. But secrecy is what destroys connection — not honesty.

The enemy isolates; the Lord restores.
And restoration begins with one brave step toward light.

Faithful Family Tools

Inside the Faithful Families Free Community on Facebook, you’ll find a safe, grace-filled space for Christian families who want to grow in connection, communication, and spiritual maturity — whether your marriage is thriving, struggling, or somewhere in between.

When you join, you’ll have access to:

• Weekly live teaching on marriage, Scripture, and emotional discipleship

• Practical tools for communication, conflict, and rebuilding trust

• Real conversations about the challenges families face — without shame or judgment

• Encouragement and biblical truth to support you in the daily work of faithfulness

• A supportive community of others walking similar journeys

This is a place to learn, ask questions, and find hope alongside others who are pursuing a faithful family culture.

Join us here → Faithful Families Free Community on Facebook

Faith Step for the Week

Ask the Lord to reveal one hidden place in your life where He wants to bring light — not for exposure, but for healing. Pray for courage to take the next step toward freedom.

Bible Verse

“For there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known.” — Luke 12:2 Not a threat, but a promise: God reveals what He intends to heal.

2-Minute Practice

Set a timer for 2 minutes.
Breathe slowly.
Say this prayer aloud:

“Lord, meet me in the places I hide.
Give me the courage to seek help,
the humility to receive it,
and the faith to believe freedom is possible.”

Next Week

Next week we’ll look at the wife’s side of the story — the shock, the grief, and the moment of unexpected grace when she hears the truth and chooses help instead of despair.

Don’t miss an episode!

Listen and subscribe to the Marriage, Mayhem & Mercy podcast to hear the biblical hope available to anyone who is ready to break free from the chains of porn addiction.