Beyond Loyalty—The Overlooked Lessons of Trust and Obedience in Ruth

When people talk about the Book of Ruth, two themes usually rise to the surface: loyalty and romance. We picture Ruth’s moving words to Naomi—“Where you go, I will go”—as the pinnacle of faithful devotion. And somewhere along the way, we’ve added in the idea of a love story between Ruth and Boaz, told through our modern Western lens of “meet someone, fall in love, get married.”

But when we step into the world of ancient Israel, this interpretation doesn’t quite fit. Marriage was rarely about romance. Marriages were arranged, and in the case of widows, they were governed by specific laws meant to protect the family line and property. At the heart of Ruth’s story is not romance, but trust, obedience, and redemption—themes that point us directly to Christ.

And for us today, Ruth’s story is not just an ancient tale. It carries powerful lessons for our marriages, families, and daily walk with God.

The Loyalty We See—and the Trust Beneath It

Yes, Ruth’s decision to remain with Naomi is an act of loyalty, but it’s more than that. She makes the uncommon, even shocking, choice to leave her homeland of Moab and follow her grieving mother-in-law back to Judah instead of returning to her father’s household.

Why would she do this? The text doesn’t tell us outright. But as one pastor insightfully put it, “Ruth saw more light in Naomi’s darkness than all the light in Moab.” That’s a profound statement. Ruth recognized something about Naomi’s God—something more compelling than her old life, her family, or her culture.

This wasn’t just loyalty to a person; it was trust in a God she was only beginning to know.

Trusting God When Marriage Feels Uncertain

Loyalty in family life isn’t just about “sticking it out.” It’s about choosing trust in God even when the path isn’t clear. When couples or parents face uncertainty—financial strain, illness, or conflict—the easy route is to run back to what feels safe. Ruth reminds us that real loyalty is grounded in trust and obedience, not convenience.

The Scandalous Obedience We Miss

Later in the story, Naomi instructs Ruth to do something that should shock us—but usually doesn’t. She tells Ruth to go to the threshing floor at night, wait until Boaz is asleep, and lay down at his feet.

This was not a cultural custom. It wasn’t “normal” behavior for widows or women in Israel. It was risky, bold, and could have easily been misunderstood. Ruth could have been seen as scandalous, desperate, or dishonorable. And yet, she obeyed Naomi’s instructions completely.

Boaz’s response is equally surprising. Instead of shaming her, he calls her actions a “kindness” and immediately begins to take steps to protect her reputation and secure her future. This moment shifts the entire story. It is Ruth’s trust and obedience—however unusual—that opens the door for redemption to take place.

Obedience That Defies Comfort

Obedience isn’t always comfortable. In marriage, it might look like honoring God’s design for forgiveness even when your spouse doesn’t “deserve it.” In parenting, it may mean enforcing boundaries that feel hard in the moment but are right in the long run. Obedience often looks strange to the world, but it makes room for God’s protection and provision.

The Kinsman-Redeemer and the Rejected Moabitess

Another overlooked detail comes later. Boaz goes to the city gate to settle the matter of who would redeem Elimelech’s land and care for Ruth. The nearest kinsman initially agrees to take the property. But the moment Boaz adds, “With it, you must also take Ruth the Moabitess,” the man quickly backs out.

Why? Because Moab was cursed. Moab was a pagan nation, born out of Lot’s incest with his daughter (Genesis 19). No Israelite wanted to take on that baggage. Ruth was an outsider, a foreigner, and a risk.

But Boaz was not afraid. He not only took Ruth as his wife, but he did so with honor, making the transaction public so that her place in Israel was secure. Here we catch a glimpse of Christ, our ultimate Redeemer, who is not afraid to take on those who are outsiders to the covenant. In fact, His mission was to bring redemption to all who would trust in Him, Jew and Gentile alike.

Making Room for Redemption in Family Life

We often carry the weight of our past into our relationships—family baggage, cultural shame, generational patterns. Just as Boaz embraced Ruth despite her outsider status, healthy marriages and families create space for redemption rather than rejection. In Christ, no one is “too far gone” to belong.

Hidden Gems of Ruth: Trust and Obedience vs. Fear and Disobedience

When we look closely, Ruth’s story is filled with contrasts that are often glossed over:

• Naomi and Elimelech’s fear vs. Ruth’s trust. Naomi and her husband left Bethlehem for Moab in disobedience during a famine, seeking safety outside of God’s command. Their disobedience led to devastating loss. Ruth, on the other hand, stepped into uncertainty and obeyed—even when it didn’t make sense.
  Naomi’s bitterness vs. Ruth’s faith. Naomi returned to Bethlehem calling herself “Mara” (bitter), convinced that God had turned against her. Ruth quietly trusted that God was still at work, even in the ruins.
• The near-redeemer’s rejection vs. Boaz’s acceptance. The unnamed kinsman chose self-protection over obedience. Boaz, however, embraced both the law and Ruth herself, foreshadowing Christ’s willingness to redeem us.

These hidden gems remind us that the real power of Ruth’s story is not in romance but in redemption.

Choosing Trust Over Fear in the Home

Fear-based decisions often drive families apart. Trust-based obedience draws them closer to God. When a couple makes financial decisions out of fear, or parents give in to cultural pressure rather than God’s Word, the consequences can be painful. But when we choose trust—even if it looks unconventional—we create space for God’s redemption to restore what is broken.

The Foreshadowing of Christ

The climax of Ruth’s story is not her marriage to Boaz—it’s what that marriage represents. Ruth, the outsider, is welcomed in and becomes the great-grandmother of King David. From her line comes Jesus, the Redeemer who welcomes all outsiders into God’s family.

Just as Boaz honored the law of the kinsman-redeemer while extending kindness and protection to Ruth, Jesus fulfills God’s law while extending grace and redemption to us. Ruth’s story is a whisper of the gospel—a promise that redemption is possible no matter our background.

Building Families on Redeeming Love

Jesus’ redeeming love is the foundation for faithful marriages and families. Just as He brought Ruth into His story, He invites our families into His redemption. That means your marriage, no matter how strained, can be renewed. Your parenting, no matter how messy, can be shaped by His grace.

Why Ruth Still Matters

The Book of Ruth is not just about loyalty. It is about the intersection of trust, obedience, and redemption. It reminds us that obedience may look strange, but it positions us to receive God’s blessing. It teaches us that outsiders are never too far gone for God’s mercy. And it reassures us that when we choose faith over fear, God can write redemption into even the messiest of stories.

For marriages and families, Ruth offers a call to choose trust over fear, obedience over quick fixes, and redemption over rejection.

Next Steps for Your Faith and Family

If this reflection stirred something in you, here are three ways to go deeper:

• Newsletter: Subscribe to my weekly newsletter where we unpack the “hidden gems” of Scripture and connect them to everyday life, marriage, and parenting.
• Podcast: Listen to Marriage, Mayhem & Mercy, where Kevin and I share real conversations about faith, family, and the struggles that test both. Part 2 of Staying When It’s Hard: Marriage, Mental Illness, and Mercy is available now.

Resources: Explore the guides, courses, and coaching available on my website—practical tools for building faithful marriages and families rooted in God’s Word.